Okay, here is my 'Possum Slayer story. I originally wrote this on my xanga a while back. So, if you've already read it. Ummm...sorry. This is a post that was requested by a hot PA mamasita in LA. I tweaked it a bit for y'alls enjoyment. Hope ya like it!

This post is about animals, and how messed up they are. And, why I just don't like 'em.

But first...I must give a preface -

So, last fall was a rough season for the Shirleys. Daddy Dean was a bit busy with Children's hospital (and classes at SEBC, meetings and fellowships for church and more and more things which I could blog and whine about). Anyway, Dean was an on-call chaplain for the Children's Hospital Trauma unit. This was an amazing ministry opportunity. He loved it and God really gave him the strength to perservere with this service. I still am amazed at the stories he has told me. He worked there for 8 months. But, it was getting to much for the family. When he was on call for a weekend - he'd be gone ALL weekend. There were weekends where he would get 2-3 hours of sleep in 72 hours. Like I said, God gave him supernatural strength for this ministry. There are many other reasons why he had to quit, but that is definitely for a phone conversation or a chat over coffee. Not for me to blog about. Or at least not today.

There was one particular weekend that I am just aching to tell y'all about. It was one of those weekends where I think he got 3 hours of sleep in like 48 or so hours. You'll have to ask him for the details. When Dean is out during the wee hours of the morning - I tend to get a bit worried. My imagination goes out of control, and I totally wigg out.

Imagine this....

I'm sittin in the kitchen readin' some blogs at 12:15am-ish. I hear a loud noise outside. Sounds like someone is goin through my trash!! I look out my door, and I watch a(n) 'possum scurry through my back yard. So, I get loopy and start really wishin' my hunk were with me.


He wasn't. I had to get a plan. A plan of what to do in case the night crawler snuck in my home.

First, I had to get my kids safe. I put both of my sleeping children in our room....snuggled tight in our cozy bed.

Because I know that there is no entrance in our room that the punk can get through.

Second, I get weapons near the big bed where my darlings are sleeping. A can of Oust (just like Lysol) and a big metal baseball bat. I'm ready for ya, big boy....oh yeah, momma's gonna take care of her babies.

So, I'm thinkin' that the critter is going to come through the vent in the laundry room.

Have I told you that I don't know ANYTHING about 'possums?

Whew!

I start pumpin my scared self up to beat the mess out of an animal. I gotta think like a super hero woman. I gotta think like I'm a wonderwoman/Crocodile Dundee kinda gal. "You can do this, Alli ! You can kill and animal to save your babies!" I just keep repeatin' it over and over in my head. I think I even said it outloud a few times.

Then, I remember something I read one time in some book. These creepies play dead!!!

What if it is in my hallway playing dead?? Do I kill it while it's playing dead or do I walk over it? Seriously! What do I do? I mean, what if I walk over it and it wakes up? Oh my word. Just the thought of that scares the hoobeedooobie out of me! Ugh! Who needs a scary movie when you've got a 'possum in your yard??

Anyhoo, I call my mom at 12:35am-ish. Yes, I do. I was scared, my friends. She assured me that as long as my doors were shut that the beast couldn't get in my home.

Thank ya, Jesus, for the wisdom and patience that a good Alabama momma has!

So, I sneak back in my bed with my little loves. And, laugh at myself. I also think about how cool it would be to be a 'possum slayer. Alli Shirley the opossum slayer. How cool would that be?

Then, Dean-o calls at 1:32am-ish. He tells me of the serious conditions he's been dealing with. I am quiet and respectful. He then asks me how I'm doing. I told him about the monster outside. He laughed really really hard.

Sometime during the weekend I asked Dean about what to do if this happens again. He just laughed and reminded me of how sleepy he was.

This is just one of a gazillion animal creep out stories that I have.

Ya want more?? I gotta 'em, sweet friends. Just ask...I totally got more scarey aminal stories.