Monday, July 14, 2008

I have never cried so much during a pregnancy as I have this pregnancy. Seriously, some days I feel like I could cry anyone a river at any given moment. It just happens. Often it is over silly stuff. One day I was cooking dinner, and my kitchen sink looked so gross that I imagined all sorts of diseases that could be living in there. I found myself boo hoo-ing over it, and ran to my bedroom. Deaner came in and asked what was wrong. I went from crying about failing as a mom to imaging Dean remarrying someone after I died of this diseased sink, and the woman he remarried making fun of me for being a slob. Listen, if I die, and you marry my hottie hubby. PLEASE don't make fun of me. I mean, I'll be with Jesus. So, I really won't care, but just don't do it.

Sometimes it is over totally legit stuff. Like, that weepy feeling you get when you don't feel good. I think that is totally legit. I have wept over my sins and the sins of others that I love. I have felt the tears pour down my cheeks over fear and anger during this pregnancy. No lie, I'm not a big crier, but I have been a big ol' sad mess this pregnancy. In all seriousness, I even talked to my doctor about it.

But, alas - every once in while the Lord makes me cry my favorite kind of cry. The one when I realize He is in control. That, He loves me. He doesn't need me, but He loves me. And, even if my greatest nightmare happens, then He will give me the grace to deal with it.

A friend sent me this video, and woo! I've watched it a few times.

And, I boo hoo every time I watch it.

I figure if I'm gonna boo hoo, then my readers should too.

I'm just nice like that.

Here's the video!


4 comments:

Griswell said...

Oh my goodness, Alli-girl. That touched my heart...thank you. I love you.

Carpenters said...

wow, ok so I tried not to cry - my jaw hurts from trying to hold it in. Couldn't hold it in any longer. By the way, I was a big crier too. Poor Ben!!

steve, kate, annelise and joseph said...

okay, so i am totally not pregnant, but this made me cry too...oh how deep the Father's LOVE for us!
i love you alli and miss you greatly!
~kh

care-in said...

I'm postpartum and still pretty emotional...this was a good cry!