Friday, May 4, 2007

It has been a sunshiney week over here. The kiddos have played outside lots. The garden has been worked on tons (by Rebekah Burroughs and Jeremy's wife, Regina...a wee bit from me). It has been great to watch the kids play. Dean graduates from SEBC next Friday. He took his final last Tuesday. We had a surprise luau (sp?) waiting for him when he got home. It was fabulous weather for it. I love love sunshiney days. What can I say? They put me in a sunshine silly willy mood.

But, right now it is raining. And, I gotta say that I love the rain. Not only is it healthy for the garden, but it is also healthy for me too. I enjoy looking out the window. I'm not really too much of a dreamer for the future. I just like enjoying the warmth of the sun or the leaves blowing in the fall. I need the rain though. I feel like it slows my thoughts down a notch or two, and makes me listen. It sounds so nice right now. The kids are taking a nap, and here I sit. Smiling and trying to just listen.

It really is hard for me to listen. I was talking to -G for a short bit this morning about it. It is so hard to know if I'm being honest with the Lord or if I'm just being manipulative. Can I just tell you how scared I am of my thoughts? I don't think I'm making much sense. I'm not sure how to describe it. I ache to be quiet with my Friend and Savior. I long to hear His truth, but I'm so afraid of interfering His thoughts. Any thoughts, Scripture or books you guys can bring is always appreciated.

Argh. Blogging my heart is so hard.

I'm with Michelle. I can't wait to be in Heaven. I'm tired of my flesh, fears and especially this world.

8 comments:

Griswell said...

You know, back in college when you would tell me that you were ready for heaven it totally freaked me out. I was ready to pack you off for counseling and tell your mom that you were suicidal. I didn't understand. Now I do. Its like being on a day trip somewhere..and its nice and you're having a good time and some pleasant experiences..but at the end of the day you are just ready to be in your own home. How much better will our heavenly home be?? I'm with you now..I can't wait! Love you lots!

Griswell said...

Hey..go to my blog and go down to the music player thing and listen to "Standing in Your Silence" by Bebo Norman. It makes me think of your recent experience.

Jeremy Conner said...

Allison Shirley, I am SO not talking to you girlfriend, not after what you did.

How could you have Dean's party without me?

Actually, now that I think about it, how could anyone have a party without me? I'm so cheerful and gay (gay as in happy, not gay as in wanting to redecorate with a "life partner" named Eduardo)

Anonymous said...

Hey Alli.. didn't know you had a blog... had to find it myself....HHHHMMMPPPP... :-)
Very cool!

Rebecca M. said...

Hey Alli, Did you get my emails?

Graced said...

Hey Allie, give us something new!

Heather said...

Oh, I love you Ali. It is great that you have been able to slow down and think. I find it real hard to do so I am proud of you!

Andy said...

hey i responded to your comments on my blog. it was good to hear from you.